As men are often physically stronger than women, it often makes
it hard to comprehend that they could be fearful of women. This is
something that can sound illogical and abnormal. When some people hear
this it can sound like some kind of joke.
But while this may sound
illogical and even laughable, for men who have this fear, it is a very
real experience and not a laughing matter. The idea that comes to mind
of a man that fears women, could be one that looks weak or feeble for
example.
And yet, this can relate to a man that is also physically
well developed. Appearances are irrelevant here and they do not define
whether a man will fear women or not.
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Challenges
There are
then going to be numerous challenges that will appear in one's life due
to having this fear. The primary one is probably going to relate to the
area of intimacy and in attracting the kind of woman or women that one
wants.
However, this can also lead to difficulties in ones career
and when it comes to connecting to colleagues and mangers that are
female. The desire to have friends who are female may be there, but this
may not be possible through having this fear.
Behaviour
Although
this can be known through numerous styles of behaviour, there is likely
to be certain patterns that one will experience. And no matter what
these are, the consequences are going to be the same: a man's needs and
wants will be denied.
So these could relate to behaviours that are
extreme to behaviours that are more subtle in nature. And some of these
are: a man could avoid women during certain situations or try to avoid
them altogether; act: submissive, shy, and overly polite or go quiet
around them.
The Body
While behaviour is one way that this
fear shows itself, what is going in the body is what usually precedes
the behaviour. This can be a combination of: feelings, emotions and
sensations. For a man that fears women, it is going to be fairly certain
that anxiety is something they are all too familiar with.
During
an experience with a woman, ones whole body could be consumed with a
myriad of emotions and feelings; along with different sensations that
appear and lead to tightness and unease in different parts of the body.
Reasons
There
are common reasons as to why a man would fear women and these are often
taken from evolutionary psychology or some area of science. Here, it is
often said that this fear is hard wired and part of a man's nature for
instance. Or they may be some kind of historical explanation.
And
although this may sound right and even legitimate, especially if it's
come from the world of science, it rarely leads to solutions. So some
kind of validation is attained, but not much else.
The Story Maker
When
it comes to understanding why things happen and what causes them, the
mind sees itself as the expert. And whatever the mind comes up with is
usually what is labelled as the truth, when it comes to what causes
things to happen.
The mind does this through interpreting what is
sees and these interpretations are created through the mind drawing on
what is knows. This can be a combination of past experiences,
intellectual knowledge and assumptions for instance.
But while the
mind is the observer of life and forms answers through interpretation,
the body is what experiences life in real time and contains the real
answers as to why something happens.
The Rejection
As
feelings can often be painful and overwhelming, it can lead to one
rejecting their body and living in their head. And then one can come to
see the head as having the answers and not the body.
These can be
painful feelings that were formed in the very beginning of ones life.
However, though living in one's head and ignoring the body, the real
answers become ignored and overlooked. So the kind of history that had
and the real origins of these feelings then becomes a mystery.
Causes
One
of the biggest factors in defining whether a man will feel comfortable
or uncomfortable with women will depend on what their early relationship
was like with their mother. How they responded to a man's needs, wants
and desires as a child will be incredibly important.
And this will
largely be a result of what her emotional sate was like. If she was
empathic and emotionally available, these needs would generally be met
and the mother would be stable in most cases.
But if the mother
was emotionally unavailable and unempathic, then these needs, wants and
desires would generally go unmet. And this also means that the mother
could be unstable. If this is the case, the mother may have had moments
of being mildly to extremely emotionally, verbally or physically
abusive.
Consequences
So in the case of the mother that was
emotionally unstable, it would have lead to all kinds of unpleasant
emotions being created. In some cases, this kind of mother would be
labelled as having a borderline personality.
For if one had a
mother like this, then to feel fear would be normal. What was going to
happen next would be unknown and therefore anxiety would also be normal.
While one may have felt: fear, anxiety, rejection, panic and that it
was unsafe amongst other emotions. If the mother was emotionally
unaware, then these emotions would have had to have been pushed out of
one's awareness as a child.
This would have been essential when it
came to their survival. As although this mother was unstable and even
intimidating, she was also imperative to ones existence.
The Forgotten Past
Years
can then go by and one will have gone form a child to a man. But while
one has physically changed, it doesn't mean that one has emotionally
changed. Due to these feelings being pushed down during those early
moments, they then became trapped and frozen in the body.
This
means that they will want to come out and be released. The body wants to
release them, but the mind can get in the way of this process and will
use all kinds of defence mechanisms. So whenever one comes across a
woman, these repressed feelings and emotions will appear once more. As
other women are simply triggering what exists within.
Awareness
To
hear that a man is fearful of women can sound illogical, but if a man
had an early upbringing like this, then it is completely logical. It is
more a case of how else could they feel around women.
These
feelings and emotions that have built up will need to be released. And
this can be done through a healer or a therapist that will allow one to
face and release their emotional history.
My name is Oliver J R Cooper and I have been on a journey of self
awareness for over nine years and for many years prior to that I had a
natural curiosity.
For over two years, I have been writing articles. These cover psychology and communication. This has also lead to poetry.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7842746
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